my office is like whoa

because it makes me say stuff like that ^

a few things about where i work:

-if no one is looking, i skip to/from the printer.
-there are signs that instruct you to hold on to the handrail in the stairwell. i bet they get insurance discounts for this.
-there is a sign that lists how many days have gone by without an osha recordable incident. It says 954 and has been the same since around july 3rd.
-the safety rep in our office stands on his chair to talk to the guy in the cubicle across from him. he calls the guy on the other side of him. not sure of the different treatment.
-i’ll admit to having a slight crush on this guy just because he’s so weird and has a funny last name. he’s like 40. oops.
-we have been instructed in helicopter safety. using helicopters would make site visits way cooler. that’s about all i learned.
-the alarms don’t sound if you open the emergency exits. just because i can, i leave the building through one such exit.
-i have two staplers. this is also just because i can.
-the supply closet has crappy pens. the good ones are in the plotter room.
-during staff meetings i’m supposed to have a notebook and pen. i never write anything down except how many times someone uses whatever word i pick that day.
-people tell me things they probably shouldn’t, like… how they’re thinking about quitting, or how they steal printer paper. I guess i look trustworthy.
-i have a way better computer than my boss. this is because i actually do stuff.
-the new office they’re building is probably 346% nicer than the one we have now. also, it’s supposedly less grey.
-needless to say, the basement, where they shoved our project is especially janky.

work = best time ever

it is the office of whoa


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Filed under but hipsters already hate me so whatever, i just said that, i will regret this tomorrow

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