…oh for the love!

I needed cake. What i got?

NOT necessary.

After institute, but before LOST, I had a craving. Instead of letting it fester and eat away at my hour of television, I chose to duck into whole foods and see what kind of caloric splurge I could binge on. I was picturing a massive white cupcake with plain white icing, something simple, but yummy.

The cupcakes were all covered in pink hearts. The cookies were all cupid-shaped and wrapped up with red foil ribbons. There was chocolate drenched fruit of all kinds and the candy sappily spelled out “LOVE” to the shoppers. This inundation made me uneasy and panicky, sealing me into some kind of “you don’t belong…GET oouuuuut” box. Dramatic? Yes, but I was getting slightly anxious with all the flagrant love for sale. White cake. White icing. Is that is too much to ask for? I would have even taking pink if there weren’t hearts…

Then I saw it, the wall of prepackaged slices of plain and not holiday-specific cakes and cookies. That would work. No decorations, no festiveness to be seen.  White cake, white icing, coconut, that will do.

To my left, “I could tooootttally see myself… like….eating that off the ssssmall of your baaaaacck toniiiiight…”
What the…

And a big THANK YOU goes out to the inappropriately LOUD gay couple for ruining my find. Neither you, nor I, nor ANYONE needs to know that that someone will be eating anything off anyone else. Ever. I cringed, put back my perfect cake, and sort of said “I’m sorry” to it. There was no way I could eat it without a mental image flashing with every bite. At the front of the store, I found some raspberry tart thing. It was fantastic and devoid of imagery. The checkout guy asked me if I was ok.

Disclaimer: Don’t even start with the “but…you’re just picking on them because they’re gay…omg how could you be so …” crap. Can’t we all just move beyond this? I point out the facts. You’re welcome. For a straight couple, my reaction would be the same: i don’t want/need to know!


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