more rules…

oh yeah…and this weekend i’ll be 24. eek.

ANYWAYS, I’ve come to the realization that I have too many guy friends, at least in Austin.  Most of my girl friends are in other towns.  This is a problem.  Guys are great to hang out with and all, but there are rules, lines, if you will, that are not to be crossed in guy/girl friendships:

1. telling me about your conquests.  That’s just gross, i don’t want, need, or care to know.  How many girls you hooked up with last weekend?  Not impressive, so did a lot of other guys.  ALSO, would you want to hear stuff like that from your sister?  I hope not.  If you DO tell me those things, you will get one of the following reactions: I will think you are lying or I will get freaked out thinking you’re trying to see if i’d be jealous.

This is not to say you shouldn’t tell me about a really great girl you met, get my opinions etc.  Totally acceptable.

2. fart in front of me.  This one is pretty simple.  I AM NOT A GUY.  also.  I AM NOT YOUR LONGTIME GIRLFRIEND.

3. Ask me if you think we’d make a good couple.  The answer is probably no.  If you didn’t make a move on me within the early stages of our friendship, there were obviously reasons (either from you or me), so I’ve thrown you in the friend closet and that door is hard to get open.  Recently, a guy I’ve known since high school ask me why we never dated.  I had a HUGE crush on him when we first met, but he didn’t seem all that interested.  After a while, I couldn’t stand the whole “just friends” thing so I quit hanging out with him so much.  Five years later….it was all kinds of uncomfortable when he asked me that.

Which is actually WHY i’m writing this.  ALSO, last night I talked to one of my old friends who used to violate those rules.  ALL. THE. TIME. I think he finally got it.  We actually had a conversation where I didn’t have to cringe at a blow-by-blow (no pun intended) recount of his weekend exploits.

And yes, the rules go both ways.

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2 Comments

Filed under i am so screwed, i'm the only one entertained by this, newsflash: i don't know

2 responses to “more rules…

  1. I never liked the “friend-zone” concept, although I understand its existence. As a guy, I must inform you that some of the best relationships can happen after you’ve become friends with someone. Love and friendship combined are awesome – or incredibly horrible if you break up. But it doesn’t happen that often does it? Because it’s hard for guys to break that door down. There’s some sort of psychological barrier there, and it seems to exist more on the female side than the male side. I think it’s worth a study. Some psych student ought to get busy on that. Sounds like it might be fun to research. (Imagine the questions you’ll get to ask).

  2. me

    funny, because I can only really be friends with guys I don’t like. If I like them…I don’t want in the friend zone so I generally bail after a while.

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