what i hear:

So today Jfair (i’m not sure how i feel about that name abrev…or shall i say na abrv…wow) called.  On the other end of the line I hear, “Want to go see The Pirate Life with me?”



I’d never heard of it so I was thinking it was some kind of Pirates of the Caribbean rip-off type documentary/indie flick, so duh I wanna go because it sounds amazingly awful and who doesn’t like watching trainwrecks? I know I would pay 9 dollars to see a movie about a guy that thinks he’s Jack Sparrow/Johnny Depp and lives in a sailboat named “arghh”, tries to get dreadlocks but he’s balding and has a fro (which reminds me of another story!), dumpster dives for buried treasure, and has a pet cat named parrot.  Also, he would need a Hitler ‘stache because of this:

Nazi Pirate

Eww, that’s a cockroach, I’ll be right back.



Note to self: stomp on cockroach BEFORE trying to flush it down the toilet.


After the confusion was sorted out, I guess we’re seeing The Timetravelers Wife. Is it ok to be disappointed that we’re not going to see The Pirate Life?  HURRY HOLLYWOOD MAKE THAT MOVIE.  thanks.

Story about dreadlocks I was reminded of:

Last summer when I was in DC, there was this weirdo guy sitting alone at a volleyball game messing with his hair.  I heard someone making fun of him so I tried to be nice/make conversation, “so you’re trying to make dreadlocks?” and he was all, “yeah…?”  There was an awk silence after this death look he gave me stating that he obviously was NOT interested in EVER having friends, and I was all “cool, you make that happen.”  That’s why I hate trying to be nice to weird people because I am always the one that feels rejected and awkward.  NOT ok.

About 15 minutes later he had half of his hair in these twisty things that look something like one of those awful Lizzie McGuire hair styles.  remember that show?  he was also trying to dye it red with his drink.

When we left, his hair was not red and not in dreadlocks.  Also, he still didn’t have any friends.


1 Comment

Filed under but hipsters already hate me so whatever, people are going to hate me now, pointless conversations, the everyday mundane

One response to “what i hear:

  1. jfair

    hahaha, i wish they were making that movie!

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