maps shmaps

I was already on edge.  My car wasn’t in an actual parking spot (it was acceptable, but not actual.  I MAKE SENSE), this was about to be the 4th time in a week I was to eat at a sub shop, and my breakfast in the car this morning was not designed to sustain much past 10am, even less past 2pm.  It was almost 3.

Then, this man started talking to the lady waiting next to me.

He had short dreads and patchy beard that did not agree with his dress pants, belt, and pressed button down.  His first words were, “Is that your truck out there?”  To which she replied, “Oh, no I drive an SUV.”  He confirmed, “Yes, a truck, so it’s yours.”

This was going to be an uncomfortable wait for my sandwich.

He continued asking her questions:

“Have you read the owner’s manual?”

“No?  Do you ever read owner’s manuals for electronics?”

“Why not? It could save you a lot of money.”

“What about instruction books for putting ‘assembly required’ things together?”


After a while, I felt sorry for this woman.  The man was talking to her like she was an idiot and trying to trap her into the wrong answer about her car or phone books or something and it was then that I made the mistake of entangling myself in this inquisition.  After about 5 minutes, it ended with him asking how often I got the oil changed in my car and that I could go 20,000 miles without changing it if I did what he did and….I wasn’t really listening so I can’t tell you how but I did not believe him even before he told me so whatever.  Either way, my anticlimactic story is almost over.

When I left the shop, the lady gave me this knowing/thanking look.  Although I reciprocated, I felt sorry for that man.  I wonder how many people he has weirded out?  More importantly, does he even know he’s making people uncomfortable?  I saw him get into his old volvo station wagon, that according to him has over 300,000 miles on it, with “Omega psi phi” and “violence is the coward’s weapon”, or something, stickers on it.

Lesson: I should have just gone to subway.


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Filed under i just said that, i used the phrase "fml" before that dumb website, i'm the only one entertained by this, pointless conversations, the everyday mundane, things that waste my time, TMI, WHAT?

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