This is only in three parts because Microsoft Word told me I had over 2,000 words. It also kindly added that no one wanted to read my blog badly enough to brave that kind of abundance. I’m not crazy that last part really did happen. I hate paperclips.
Oh wait, Office 2007 ditched that thing right? Ok so I lied. What?
Other than high numbers, I can’t remember why I wanted to post in three parts. Two would have been fine, but three is a better number? Is it kind of like how sequels suck but when it’s a trilogy people seem to accept it? I don’t know! The problem is that I already posted everything I had when I started and there is nothing left. I am tired of this topic and want to move on.
But I promised three so you will get three and don’t tell me you didn’t even want ONE.
In search of inspiration, I tried googling keywords and I ran across another blog with a post that’s uncomfortably similar to mine. We both used a sandwich to illustrate a point and the word “decadent” to describe it. It feels like plagiarism or something and it made me want to delete the posts altogether. I AM SO UNORIGINAL.
My google brainstorming failed me miserably. Thanks internet.
Here it is in case you want to think I’m a fraud. I think we made different points though? The correct answer: yes.
OH OH OH! I KNOW WHAT I CAN DO NOW FOR PART THREE!!! It could make quite a few people mad though. Not that I’m afraid of people or anything.
Environmentalists, global warming enthusiasts, and vegans!!!! They all suffer for their “higher” cause. Right? I can just talk about my distaste for Prius-or-die snobs and girls that think even faux fur is an abomination against animals like Z0oey Deschanel. I’d fact check that, but I have the journalistic integrity of NBC, CBS, ABC, FOX, and CNN combined, which is still not enough and this is not journalism. Oh, and I don’t hate Zooey. I don’t care enough.
The best part about writing on this topic is I’ve decided to use only bullet points. My thoughts on the “holier than thou” set of the enviro/warming/vegan crowd:
- they are not better than me even if they think otherwise.
- i get it, trees are people too. you’re only crazy if they talk back.
- I have no problem with turning out the lights when I’m not in a room, but COME ON.
That is all. I have more important things to worry about right now according to the weatherman.
Now I don’t think it can top the “Apartment Snowman Standoff of 2008” or the “Ice Blanket of 2007”, in fact, I’m predicting a mild dusting of frost, but this is Texas, so bring it on “BLIZZARD 2009”!